Although my parents no longer pay out of state tuition, my journey to bankrupt them continues. Today I ordered Cable Internet, which is charged directly to my dad's bill. He won't notice until mid-July, just when I'm packing up for Hollywood. In the mean time, look for more rapid and fervent updates. "What could be better?" you ask.

Tonight I saw Minority Report, a movie the proves my points about Spielberg's talent and Tom Cruise's lack of it. From a filmic standpoint, Spielberg knows his colors, and some of his camera angles reminded me of scenes in Traffic and The Matrix (the latter of which I have yet to become a fan). Tom, on the other hand, cries with all the sincerity of a dumb jock forced to do Shakespeare In the Park. Not that the film summons the works of William, but I think you catch my drift.

I'm really scared to be in the Owens' house (alone) tonight. The laundry room light is sensormatic, so when I came home from the movie, the light was on. I wet myself. And then I heard a wretched groaning sound a la Blair Witch. The sound turned out to be Bailey, their 2-year-old lab. She was winning a battle with a plastic cup. However, as a man, I'm not going to check the house before I go to sleep. Hell, I'm not even going to lock the front door or have a baseball bat ready. I'm just going to...go sleep at home.

This weekend I get to hang out with Jackie, who has devotedly read each and every entry of this web log. Jackie and I go way back, from our music programs with Mrs. Matlock to our 8th grade Indian chanting (Indian readers -- take no offense. We did it out of admiration for Thanksgiving Day). Jackie's the bomb. She invades my soul.

Song of the Day
"The Reflex" by Duran Duran