Allow me to share a few rules of restaurant dining etiquette with you, dear reader.
1) Aside from your tips, waiters earn peanuts in wages. If, when you're dining, you think to yourself, "The service was great, but I don't need to leave a huge tip. Waiters earn a lot of money," you're a moron and I hate you. Waiters earn $2.13 an hour. Today, for instance, I earned $8 in wages for serving quiche, omelets and mamosas to the church people. Some of them tipped 25-35%, which is above and beyond gracious. Many of them tipped around 20%. However, two parties tipped 10% after I busted my ass for them. I hope their cars explode once they've left the parking lot.
2) If service is bad, don't tip well. It's the best way of getting across the message.
3) If you HAVE to divide the bill, give your server advanced notice (like, before you order). Oh, and don't call it the "check." A check is a form of payment. Your bill lists your total.
4) When you're finished dining and you still have an enthralling conversation at hand, go to Starbucks and get the hell out of the restaurant so your server can earn money.
5) Servers are there to serve you, yes. But we're also human beings with feelings, dreams and empty wallets. God help us.