I must say I've been making money hand over fist at work lately. Although tonight I had a table from New York City who only tipped 12%. They thought they were hot shit because they were from a metropolitan city. Ugh, that is so September 10th. Anyway, this fat bitch kept commenting on how simple and boring Oklahomans are. Granted, I've said the same thing a thousand times, but I actually have a foundation for my claim. At the end of the evening, I asked if she and her friends needed the bill divided. "What do you mean divided?" she asked, every metric ton of bitchiness bellowing through her enlarged, shrill vocal chords. So, fed up, I proclaimed in my best Oklahoman draw, "Ma'am, we Okie folk sometimes like to divy up our vittles and grits and do right by one another by paying fer ourselves all individual like." She wasn't amused. I was. I may be in Oklahoma, but she's fat and ugly. At least I can move to another state.