Red Rock Canyon Grill is no stranger to celebrities. Harrison Ford, Robert Redford and Don Henley are just a few of the famous faces to dine at my place of employment. However, tonight's famous guests overshadow Han Solo and the Sundance Kid. Tonight, at table 3, sat The Gin Blossoms and their manager and one of the member's, uhm, boyfriends. I ran their salads and drinks just so I could bask in their fame. It felt so good. I offered to sing, "Hey Jealousy" for them. They accepted, were impressed, and offered me a spot with the band. I politely declined, informing them that I'd rather serve chicken and steak to drunken Oklahomans than sing with a washed-up band. Then Gwyneth Paltrow came in and gave me a blowjob. It was awesome.

To clarify, the portions of my story that were true were 1) all the celebrities I mentioned have dined at Red Rock. 2) The Gin Blossoms and company ate at Red Rock tonight. 3) I brought them their salads and drinks.