My new trainer called tonight. I am on a new diet starting...now. In the morning, I will eat scrambled eggs and toast. In between breakfast and lunch, I will consume a protein shake. For lunch, I dine on a grilled chicken breast and carrots. In between lunch and dinner, I will treat myself to a protein bar. For dinner, I feast on yet another chicken breast and a salad. Sweets and caffeine are gone. I am never to eat past 8 p.m. With the exception of one glass of orange juice at breakfast and one glass of milk at lunch, I am to drink only water (and I still get to tempt my palate with a daily wheatgrass shot). No wonder all the attractive people in Los Angeles are crazy.

I keep waiting for that bitch to write or call, but I know she won't. I wish I weren't obsessed with her. Screw it, I'm going to watch M*A*S*H.