Saddam, surrender or I will sing

I won't bore you with another American Idol recap, save three thoughts:

1) Once we have a definite lock on Saddam's whereabouts, the Marines should set up a giant megaphone and have Josh Gracin croon Bad Blood. That will either drive Saddam to surrender or kill himself. Because, like most of us, he'd probably do anything to keep our melodiously miserable Marine from singing again.

2) Not only was Trenyce not bad, she was better than good. Last night was the only night I enjoyed watching her, and I'll be mildly upset if she's booted tonight. After all, anyone who can pay homage to Captain & Tennille and make it sexy deserves at least one more week.

3) Ruben could do an interpretive dance to his song wearing only a chef's hat and fishnet stockings and the judges would wet their collectives pants over how brilliant he is. The only slight problem I have is that he's a boring, one-note performer who impresses less and less. But try telling that to America.