The Real World zoo

I know what you're thinking. Leah from Real World Paris is a cloying bitch. Well, you're wrong. Had Leah and I gone to school together, we would have been best friends. We would have sat in the back of the classroom and made fun of all the losers around us. We would have had wild, passionate sex. And then we'd talk about each other behind the other's back.

C.T., on the other hand, is the ape I would have made fun of in such a way as for him to think I wasn't being sarcastic. I would have made him cry. Then I would have shaved three inches off his hairline and sold him back to the zoo where he could fling his own shit at his family members and eat boogers.

Ace, although ignorant and sophomoric in his humor, is forgivable because he realizes his own ignorance and still enjoys life. To him, I hoist a drink.

Christina is hot. Mallory is beautiful. I want a sandwich.

Simon is thus far my favorite roommate to imitate. Perhaps it's because he's Irish. Or maybe because he's gay. But probably because, like the token gay characters before him, he's as interesting as drying paint.

That leaves Adam. I'm amazed that Adam has gotten some in light of his early-man appearance and inability to say or do anything remotely useful.

Though I might seem a bit harsh towards C.T. and Adam, I think it's great that MTV is finally giving light to the overlooked caveman demographic.