Truuuuuuue stor-ay!

My scattered thoughts on the E! True Hollywood Story: The Real World:

- Why did they waste so much time covering the first season, which is second only to London as the most boring of the series?
- I think Beth A. remains, uncontested, the most annoying alum from the show. She called Tami "ghetto trash?" Riiiiiight, because the Chrissy-from-Three's Company-meets-punk-lesbian-with-random-facial-piercing look is so classy and timeless, you annoying loser.
- Actually, Beth A. and Puck are in a heated race to be the most annoying. Puck, your fifteen seconds of fame expired so long ago that you'll be serving extra time in Hell to compensate for your inexplicable celebrity.
- Thank you, E!, for not interviewing a soul from Las Vegas. Best we forget that fiasco all together.
- Enough about Cara! She was cerainly not the most interesting person from Chicago. Where, oh where, was Tonya? And why waste film on Theo? I forgot who he was until his brilliant "Yeah, the cameras caught everything" epiphany. Thank you for that insight. Until he said that, I spent hours wondering how the crew accrued so much footage.
- Miami = boring without Flora. Just thinking about her makes me smile ("If we don' do the bagel shop my way, I won' do the f*ckin beez-ness"). Damn you for giving that much more exposure to Dan "Could-my-head-move-any-faster-while-I-talk-and-could-I-be-more-of-a-queen."
- What is wrong with San Francisco Pam's eyes? She and Judd scare me.
- I suppose E! was too cheap to fork over the cash for actual clips from the show. Three phrases I longed to hear:
"That wasn't not funny!"
"I just fished my kidney stone out of the toilet. It hurt. Want to see it?"
"I don't mind lesbians, that's sexy as Hell. But dudes...that's disgusting!