Okay...

I am trying to type as understandably as possible. I returned home VERY drunk just a few minutes ago. My dog was asleep right outside my parent's room. When I came home, I said to my dog, "I am going to help you with your English classes." I said that very loudly. My dad woke up and, although I'm sure he knew I was drunk, played the "What are you doing" game. I pleaded ignorance and ran upstairs. Then I tripped over a large pile of clean laundry and tried to pass out on the stairway until my dad convinced me to walk up to my bed and sleep. But I decided to blog. I've proofread this entry about 1,000 times. Please tell me it's coherent and grammatically correct. God I', hungry,.