The advantages of being single again:

- Unchaperoned time spent with female friends

- Returning to my flirtatious ways

- Getting to watch Alias instead of Full House re-runs

- Not playing 20 questions after going out with my high school friends

- The prospect of being single in Los Angeles

- Not having to sit through a romantic comedy for a long, long time

- Not searching for a fake gesture of comfort when I'm reminded every other minute of her "horrible" headaches, possible colds, sleepiness, PMS problems or other medical ailments

- Not dealing with my own horrible headaches after listening to her bitch and moan when I don't display said contrived gesture

- Not having to explain, in detail, the important plot points of a movie during the movie

- The avoidance of life-long problems caused by her ex-boyfriend

- Going where I want, when I want, with whom I want, without any necessary explanation

- Not having to hear disgusting lies told to elicit sympathy and conceal unfaithfulness

- Not having to catch her drunk and naked in a hot tub with some bartender

- Not having to hear from numerous friends about her clandestine sexual mishaps with said bartender

- Knowing that I deserve better

- Knowing that I should have been single from the beginning and seeing another window of opportunity

The disadvantages of being single again: