Win a date with Steve Guttenberg

I almost spent my Valentine's Day evening with Steve Guttenberg. Gerrod, a friend from back home, resides in L.A. and makes his living as a photographer. Brooke, my good friend from high school, is dating Gerrod and came to visit him (us) for Valentine's Day. Well, Gerrod is friends with Steve, and a group of their friends had Valentine's dinner. Because I had a prior commitment (purchasing more furniture from Ikea and ordering a California Pizza Kitchen pizza), I was unable to join them for dinner. I was, however, warmly invited to join them for drinks at the trendy Firefly in Studio City.

Blissfully I drove down the Hollywood Freeway, thinking nothing could keep me from my first real celebrity encounter. Apparently you have to be somebody to get into Firefly. Unable to reach either Gerrod or Brooke on their cell phones as I was refused admittance, I pleaded to the hostess, "But I'm with Steve Guttenberg." She seemed quite amused. I, however, left several threatening messages on my friend's cell phones. Twenty minutes later, Gerrod came out for a cigarette as I was lurking around the street corner like a paparazzi reject. "Hey, where have you been?!" he bellowed in his drunken stupor. "Come on in!"

Finally. Admitted onto the scene where I belong. However, not only had Steve Guttenberg already left the building, so had every other celebrity. I was in a room full of nobodys who, like myself, thought they were somebody. I found solace in my drink and talked about high school with my two friends.

So keep tuning in, dear readers. This won't be my first attempt to meet the rich and famous, those luminary gods and godesses whose images fuel a society of admiration and envy. Stars just like Steve Guttenberg.