Eat shit

At work I try to maintain the utmost professional appearance (it makes up for the lackluster nature of my, er, profession). Thus I was a little surprised by what made me laugh and snort until I wept yesterday.

I took my break and was enjoying my meal at a table next to a mother and her four-year-old son. He was quite loud and chubby and had the typical manners of a spoiled child. Like most children, he was asking his mother a series of asinine questions. Then, out of nowhere, came the question, "Do you ever eat pizza...with POOP on it? HAHAHAHAHA!"

And out of my nose came my water. I laughed freely and openly. The mother, however, was not the slightest bit pleased by my show of adulation for her son's shit-eating inquiry.

So the point of this story is that my sacred work ethic was compromised by the mention of excrement. I have a long way to go before I can hold a real job without laughing at inopportune moments.