Take my breath away

Today at the sports club, a certain celebrity pop princess came in to work out. This particular starlet and her pop star/frat boy husband account for one of the least-amusing half hours of reality television on MTV. You know of whom I speak.

So as this young lady was walking over to meet her trainer, the satellite radio station plunged its phonograph into the depths of Hell and played the singer's warbling rendition of a 1986 Top Gun soundtrack classic. As she quickly recognized the cacaphony chords of her own vile recording, she smiled and chirped, "It's about time this place played some good music!"

One of my lifelong regrets will always be that I chose to say nothing.