Let's go to the movies

Here's a brief rundown of the movies I've seen lately and why you should or should not see them.

Ocean's Twelve: Come watch George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts do nothing to earn their exorbitant paychecks, as if to say, "We went to Georgie's Italian vacation house and decided to film it. Aren't you jealous? Don't you wish you were a movie star? Doesn't Julia have big teeth?" Catherine Zeta-Jones, Matt Damon and Scott Caan are credible actors whose performances are the only saving grace.

Finding Neverland: This film epitomizes all that is beautiful about moviemaking.

Close: Julia Roberts has big teeth and is a performer of increasingly limited range. Jude Law's had better days. But I'll be damned if Natalie Portman and Clive Owen aren't brilliant. You, too, will wonder what Portman's "c*nt" tastes like after watching her mesmerizing beauty complement a phenomenal performance.

Kinsey: Overrated, but not bad. Laura Linney steals the show (as usual).

Spanglish: Watching Tea Leoni shop for groceries would be fascinating. Unfortunately, a trip to Albertson's would be more amusing than this scattered, unpleasant exercise in boredom and offensive stereotypes. As a side note, Marci will be Tea's character in 20 years.

Beyond the Sea: Take away the awkward subplot about Bobby Darin narrating his own biopic, and forget the horrible performance by "Young Bobby," and you've got a decent movie. Kudos to Brenda Blethyn and Kate Bosworth (as Sandra Dee!) for enjoyable supporting roles.

The Aviator: Cate Blanchett, Cate Blanchett, Cate Blanchett. I never thought anyone could bring the other great Kate back to the big screen, but I stand in awe. Leo's not bad, either.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou: I'm sure the screenplay looked good on paper, but I think something got lost in the translation (i.e. Bill Murray is rather bland). But, hey, Cate Blanchett's in it.

Sideways: I don't know why, but this is one of my favorite movies of the year. It also made me crave vast amounts of wine.

Million Dollar Baby: ...and I said Hilary Swank was a flash in the pan. I stand corrected. She's actually quite superb.