And the nominees are

In five hours I will arise from a deep slumber to watch the live announcement of this year's Oscar nominees. Yes, I am that excited.

UPDATE

This morning's nominations bring few surprises. But in the spirit of witty banter, here are my thoughts:

- Adrien Brody, who presented this year's nominations, must find a new gag. We get it. You kissed Halle Berry when you won an Oscar three years ago. And the year after that, you presented with Halle and sprayed Binaca in your mouth to remind us that you kissed Halle Berry when you won an Oscar three years ago. And this morning, you sprayed Binaca in your mouth when you co-presented with the 100-year-old president of the Academy to remind us that you kissed Halle Berry when you won on Oscar three years ago. Give it a rest. It's old. I suppose next time you win an Oscar you're going to hump Nicole Kidman's leg.

- I must say I didn't predict a Best Supporting Actor nomination for Alan Alda (The Aviator...and, more memorably, "M*A*S*H"). Please bring Hot Lips as your date to prove she's still alive.

- Yes, I know, Hollywood is "livid" that Paul Giamatti was overlooked for his worthy work in Sideways. But this wasn't exactly a weak year performance-wise. Whose place should he have taken, hmmm? Jamie Foxx? DiCaprio? Eastwood?? Giamatti can raise a glass (sorry, I couldn't resist) to his overrated Best Supporting buddy Thomas Haden Church, who has become the most unlikely award season staple.

- Thank God they didn't nominate Meryl Streep for The Manchurian Candidate.

- Poor Michael Moore. The Passion of the Christ earned three nominations. Fahrenheit 9/11) earned zero. Guess his ego isn't quite as justified as he thought. Remind me, what was his movie about? What was its purpose? Who's in the office? I guess his ideological eyes were bigger than his stomach.

- The only race that I'll be watching intently is Best Actress. For the love of God, will someone please give Annette Bening an Oscar and let Hillary Swank turn 30 before making her a two-time winner? This should have been a no-brainer when the American Beauty star inexplicably lost to the "90210" alum back in 2000.

- I'm sorry, but Chris Rock as host? Let's see. Four black nominees, one of them sure to win Best Actor (an award he deserves). Might Chris Rock use the podium to eschew his "blacks-are persecuted" brand of offensive humor? Nothing funnier than that.