Miss Idiotic

I had no beef with Kelly Clarkson until yesterday, when I read the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. Now the bitch is on my list of least-liked celebrities alongside Jessica Simpson and Adam Brody.

At the beginning of her interview, for no apparent reason, Clarkson ignorantly blasts one of the most iconic movie stars of all time, Marilyn Monroe. "You know, I don't really like her all that much," she informs the interviewer. "I mean, I think she was beautiful and it's great that she was on the voluptuous side [and still a sex symbol], but I've watched her movies and they don't really do that much for me. I kind of think of her as the Paris Hilton of her day. And didn't she marry, like, five guys?"

I couldn't read anymore of the interview after that. It's perfectly acceptable to not care for the work of Marilyn Monroe. I can't claim to be a huge fan. But I'm also aware of her personal life and the attempts she made to become a studied actress. She attended the classes of Stella Adler and Meisner. Her work in Bus Stop was brilliant and her lesser films were saved by her unforgettable screen presence.

Comparing Paris Hilton to Marilyn Monroe is one of the greatest injustices since O.J. was found innocent. Hilton's screen presence is on par with that of a soiled diaper.

And for Clarkson to make that comparison? From Justin to Kelly displayed such mind-numbingly awful acting that Ryan Seacrest was too sick to get it up for Simon Cowell. Randy Jackson couldn't eat. And Paula Abdul needed a double dosage of quaaludes just to give Clarkson her singing lessons.

When Clarkson dies (probably in a trailer or a Krispy Kreme), her legacy won't last for 10 seconds. After all, the world knows the difference between a star and loud-mouthed Texas trailer trash.