Server superlatives

Last night at a post-work drinking session, my fellow servers and I created 10 "Anti-awards" to bestow upon one another. I was the big winner, taking home the gold in three categories:

1) Most irritable server
2) Most likely to sleep with a single 40-year-old woman from the bar
3) Most likely to burn in the hottest depths of Hell

Years of bitterness over not being part of the homecoming court in high school have now been vindicated.