Another glorious morning in Hell

Last night I was en route from Brentwood to Pasadena (not a fun trip), and my usually angelic car started smoking like dry ice at a Halloween party. The engine nearly caught fire and I was forced to pull over at the Pasadena Elks Lodge parking lot. All I needed was a criminal posing as a ghost clown and a talking dog to make it a Scooby Doo episode.

So I called AAA and waited for the tow car. And waited. And waited. And waited. Finally the lady from the tow truck company (who sounded exactly like Lucille Ball when Lucy did her hillbilly impersonation) called. The toothless wonder told me that I'd have to wait another two hours for the tow. I had originally called at 11:40. It was now 12:30 a.m. I wasn't about to wait in that parking lot until 2:30, so using the powers of my intense bad mood, I demanded a car be sent immediately to take me to my apartment. That car arrived at 1:30. I would have slept well, but the drip drip drip from yesterday was still in full effect.

This morning at 8:30 I called the Honda dealership to confirm that my car had been delivered. Nope. So I called Granny Clampett, who informed me that the tow truck was still on its way. On its way? I bellowed. I informed her that I could have successfully levitated the car in the now eight and half hours that had gone by. She apologized. I didn't care, and did what any macho young man would do to solve this problem. I called my daddy and he called AAA.

So this morning, as I was waiting in the office of Budget Rental Car, I was hit on by a gay German couple who offered me some pot in exchange for a day of fun. I explained that I wasn't interested in the former and was already living through the latter. Then, the rocket scientist behind the counter "accidentally" charged my debit card $750, which is barely in the account. A mere 40 minutes later and my account was credited.

The day is saved by two auditions (both for movies) and the aforementioned screening of Proof. I will travel to all of those in style in my stylish PT Cruiser. As if the day couldn't be more humiliating.