I blame the music

For lack of anything better to do except submit my headshot and resume to prospective agents, I've been going to the gym twice a day. And I've noticed that normal people go to the gym during the day, crazy people at night.

Tonight while I was working out I saw a variety of attention-starved weirdos. But instead of finding their antics amusing, I was annoyed. And I did not hide that fact. You see, I'm trying to regain the body I had when I was 18, so I've been eating very specific meals (high protein) at very specific times (whenever inconvenient). And it sucks. And it's put me in a horrible mood.

So when the hairy fat lady on the cardio machine next to me decided to raise her arms and do jazz hands while singing along with Madonna, I stared straight ahead and refused to give her the attention she so desperately craved. Then she kept going and I decided to look at her, roll my eyes, and noticeably turn up the volume on my iPod. Instead of taking the hint, she stared straight at me and started singing louder. I ended my cardio and went to the free weight area.

A short black guy was offering vocal samples of the selections currently playing on his headset. I could ignore that, once again, by turning up my iPod volume. Unfortunately, shorty decided to add some complex dance moves to his KIDS Incorporated routine. Even that was fine until he bumped into me while I was doing shoulder presses. The force of him bumping into me almost knocked my arm (with weight in hand, mind you) into my head. The fucker didn't even apologize. He just shrugged, as if to say, "Don't get in the way of brillian$e"

Thus the two-a-day workout has been replaced with one daytime workout and one evening jog at the beach. Sure, I know there are crazy people at the beach. But they're not jogging or practicing for an Usher video. I'm safe on foot.