Lunch break in Beverly Hills

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:
1. Star in my own TV series
2. Star in a critically lauded motion picture
3. Win two Academy Awards, one for acting, the other for writing
4. Find "Rags to Riches" episodes and watch them
5. Marry and have two children, one boy, one girl
6. Own homes in LA, New York City and Oklahoma City
7. Write shocking memoirs

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Act like I give a shit
2. Sit in traffic
3. Turn the other cheek
4. Eat steak cooked more than medium rare
5. Live in Columbia, MO
6. Drink fruity drinks with no liquor content
7. Give up the thrill of the donut

Seven Things That Attract Me to Blogging:
1. It's my pedastal
2. Occasional picture sharing
3. Keeping up with my funniest friends
4. Currently it's my only writing outlet
5. I think I'm funny
6. The closest thing to a journal I will ever have
7. I can say "I have a blog"

Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1. Motherfucker
2. Riiiiiight
3. Bite me
4. Would you two like to start off with a pitcher of margaritas or some fine Mexican beer?
5. Thank you for calling the Sports Club/LA-Beverly Hills, this is Chase, how may I help you?
6. What the fuck are you waiting for, the light is green?
7. Did I forget to wipe "I give a shit" off my forehead before coming into work this morning?

Seven Authors I Love:
1. John Irving
2. Dave Sedaris
3. J.K. Rowling
4. Carl Hiaasen
4. Errol Flynn
5. Dave Barry
6. Agatha Christie
7. Augusten Burroughs

Seven Movies/DVDs That I Watch Over and Over Again:
1. American Beauty
2. The Graduate
3. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
4. The Shining
5. The Brady Bunch episode where Marcia gets hit in the nose with a football
6. Cheers, any season
7. Kill Bill 1 & 2

Seven People I Want To Join In:
All y'all