Mapquest is a smartass

I hate Mapquest. Though I'm well-versed in the roads of Los Angeles, I never go to an audition without first consulting the Web site. Unfortunately, Mapquest and I do not get along.

Why do I continue to use Mapquest, you ask? All of the addresses I've searched are stored, and because this city is smaller than it seems, I audition at the same places with some frequency. I've tried the other sites. I just don't like them.

Mapquest grates on my nerves every time I do a new search. Because I'm perpetually lazy and love to save time (unless it comes to things like eating, watching TV, or stalking people on myspace), I rarely use meaningless words such as "Street," "Avenue," or "Blvd." I don't have time for "West" or "East."

And each time I search for an address, Mapquest always comes back like a condescending valedictorian with "Oh Chase, you must be mistaken. You see, you entered '701 Santa Monica.' You must mean 701 WEST Santa Monica BLVD, right? Even though there IS no "W." Santa Monica Blvd, and even though Santa Monica Blvd is the only street in the entirety of LA county with the words 'Santa Monica,' you're mistaken. Instead of fixing this error for you, I've simply pointed it out so that you can see how smart I am. Bask in my glow, I am Mapquest."

Oh fuck off, Mapquest. If you're so fucking smart, read between the lines.